Procrastination, inertia, and summer ennui

That's, of course, the problem when you find yourself facing 60 days of freedom after the most hellish 9 months you've ever had in life. You don't want to do anything...ever.

If I could have my way, I'd probably sleep 10 hours, then wander back and forth in my apartment until I, bleary-eyed and shuffling, came out of my apartment/cave into the sunlight for a walk to the library or a drive up to a bookstore. That just might be my vision of heaven.

I have tons of projects. Tons. And on Monday I'm starting a tutoring gig for some much needed dinero. Yet I don't want to do any of it -- or even better, I want to click my heels and have it all done nicely and neatly for me.

Lazy? Sure. Will I do my tasks? Yes, I always rouse myself. You know what they say: "It's never over till it's over." I always manage to make myself finish what must be done. But for right now, everything seems so insufferably like work. And nothing is quite working out like I hoped.

Book 2 isn't going anywhere, and mostly because I can't seem to start the damn thing. I've re-written the beginning five different times; yes, five! I'll get a chapter in, say to myself, "It's all wrong!" and try again. I don't know why I think it's wrong, but something in my brain just keeps saying things like: It's not flowing right. It's not what you want to achieve. What are you doing? You can do better than this!

Gee, thanks Inner Critic. How about you write the damn book instead of just complaining about it?

I wish I could just skip the beginning and go back, but beginnings are critical for me. I write rather chronologically; I don't know how those authors who bounce everywhere between their book, and still manage to tie all the threads together, do it. Plus, I feel more connected to the book when I write the beginning first; I get a better feel for the story that way. So, I haven't written much on The Eternal Forest (book 2) that I plan to keep. However, my goal for this summer was to exercise and write every morning for an hour, each. Yeah...I haven't been very faithful to that resolution.

The query letter is also floundering, mostly because I hate writing the damn thing and I think it sounds like crap. Query letters are very hard to write. You need to sell yourself and I've never been good at selling anything (and I used to sell knives door to door). The publishing industry is all about selling. I need to write a 3 paragraph synopsis of The Blood Queen (which I think sounds like crap) plus a 1 page, full summary of the book (which I'm dreading). What do I say? What do I leave out due to space restrictions? How do I make it sound engaging, promising, and interesting all at the same time?

I don't know. And I've been saying that a lot lately.

How to start The Eternal Forest? I don't know.
How will I write a good query letter? I don't know.
How to effectively tutor during a summer gig? I don't know (although this is easier solved than the others)
Why is my contact irritating my eye and causing tears to waterfall down my face? I don't know, but I'm going to have to sign off and take care of this. Hopefully I'll end the summer ennui soon...